


a prayer in perfect piety

by briiefcase, picketcricket



Series: 3am crackfics [3]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types, Shrek (Movies), 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: M/M, but look klavier gavin, deadpool is the fbi, its good I swear, jk i just read it again its bad, peter parker speaks uwu, that needs to be a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 20:21:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20681372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briiefcase/pseuds/briiefcase, https://archiveofourown.org/users/picketcricket/pseuds/picketcricket
Summary: "okay so peter parker is basically baby right??""yeah"





	a prayer in perfect piety

"UwU mistew Twump! Mistew Twump, pwease wet them out!" Peter "Spider-Man" Parker laments with Trump, but alas, all of his efforts are in vain. The internet lied to him. He was not able to change Trump's mind.

  
"No. I will keep them all. And I will keep the token gays. I just need a small loan of a million prisoners to complete my wall." Trump speaks of the people he has imprisoned like he is collecting anime figures. Dang, man, just go to IKEA.

  
"But!! Mistew Twump!! Forced wabour is iwwegaw (forced labour is hecking illeha;l)!"

  
But Trump does not care. It is "ObamaCare", after all, not "TrumpCare". Peter Parker knows this. But he is the goodest boy. And he is pure of heart.

  
Suddenly, from inside the dungeon, pop music can be heard. Trump and Peter are confusion. But then Shrek bursts through the door, holding the token gay of the day, Tamaki Suoh in a bridal carry. It was very romance. Smash Mouth is playing. There is no discernible source for the music. It is coming from everywhere and nowhere. Just like it always has.

  
"sOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME YOUR POLICIES ARE BALOGNA, YOU'RE MAKING ALL THE IMMIGRANTS DEEEAAAD!"

  
Trump looks scared. "Klavier Gavin! I thought I had you killed!"

  
"I wish," Klavier replies. "No force on earth, heaven, or hell could keep me down. No copyright law in the world is going to stop me!" He has just pirated the entirety of Game of Thrones to Trump's desktop. The FBI is pounding at the door. Not because of the prisoners. Because of Game of Thrones. America does not care about slavery.

  
Trump looks terrifed. "Oh god, oh fuck, the prisoners, my huge collection," Trump says very nonchalantly. He knows he can pay the bail.

  
Deadpool is the FBI. "Killing rapists is a bonding activity!" he shouts, killing the racist. "Annoying orange is dead! All hail king me!"

  
And peace was restored.


End file.
